Breaking the Mold
Breaking the Mold
New Takes on Old Wedding Traditions
Words by Christina Shepherd McGuire
Generation Z and Millennials do things differently, especially when it comes to getting hitched. As far as traditions go, this group tends to make their own, rather than following timeless customs. Receiving lines? Too fussy. “His and hers” seating? No thanks. And plus-ones: Who can even afford that anymore? Instead, new-fangled weddings (especially those of the high-altitude variety) incorporate modern takes on olden-day practices, rendering a more casual feel that jives with the times.
Here are a few of our favorites (You don’t have to be a Gen Z’er or a Millennial to embrace them, either.):
Choosing a romantic morning over wedding-day superstitions. The notion that it’s bad luck for the bride and groom to see each other before the ceremony is one of the first ideas that’s typically thrown to the curb, as this belief stems from a time when marriages were pre-arranged. For outdoorsy couples, this definitely doesn’t fly, as some opt for a morning hike or mountain bike ride together before festivities start. Others may enjoy a romantic breakfast alone to decompress before the fun starts, while some may choose to usher in their new life together with a morning sunrise over the Tetons.
“More often than not, I see couples doing their first look earlier in the day and sharing personal vows with each other at this time [sometimes via letter],” says Sarah Condon of Vibrant Events of Jackson Hole. She explains that couples use this period before the ceremony begins to take photos and enjoy some special time together.
Having a family or friend officiate instead of a religious figure. When you pour through the pages of our magazine, you will see that most couples chose a close friend or family member as their officiant. Of course, some still opt to have an ordained priest or minister, a justice of the peace, or a judge seal their deal, but many couples are now choosing an officiant they know well, and one who may even hold a special role in their relationship. If you go this route, make sure your chosen officiant is up for the job (because it’s a lot more than just pronouncing you “partners for life”). This person will need to go through the legal motions of getting ordained, and he or she will also need to act as your event’s MC, telling your heartfelt story while keeping your ceremony on a timeline.
Encouraging short sentiments instead of lengthy speeches.Gone are the days of inebriated family members taking over the reception mic during dinner. Today, most couples prefer a short sentiment or toast, often given during cocktail hour, so there’s no disruption in the flow of the evening.
“Because couples want to get the most of their time with family and friends — some of whom they may not see very often — it’s become a new tradition to shorten the number of speeches, the length of the speeches, and [even] the length of first dances,” says Emily Claassen of Event Planners of Jackson Hole. “While these things are still important, it’s more important to have meaningful conversations with those who traveled so far to celebrate with you.” Hence, some couples prefer to forego speakers all together and instead opt to give a toast themselves.
Providing a dessert table instead of featuring a cake cutting. Word on the street is that wedding cakes are losing the battle with dessert tables. While a wedding cake, and the traditional staged cutting, give a nod to the old, new-school dessert tables tend to captivate all the senses. The elaborate display, the wafting aromas, and the tantalizing tastes appeal not just to one type of dessert connoisseur, but to many. A dessert spread also works well when trying to provide for guests’ food sensitivities. And if you just can’t go without “the cutting,” add a mini “bride and groom” cake to the dessert ensemble.
Foregoing the bouquet toss and honoring your mom instead. “I very rarely see bouquet tosses, garter tosses, games, or bridal party entrances,” says Condon. Instead, she’s noticed a bigger focus on appreciating the mother of the bride. Some brides have their mothers join them for the walk down the aisle, some gift their mothers a thoughtful bouquet of their own, and others “incorporate them in a super special [and sometimes private] way that oftentimes goes unnoticed,” she says.
Claassen concurs. “Instead of tossing the bouquet to all the single ladies, it’s so much more touching when the bride presents the bouquet to her mother or grandmother as a ‘thank you.’”
Hosting a “wedding weekend” instead of just a party. Many couples getting married in the Tetons love the outdoors. So, naturally, both local and destination couples sometimes opt for a wedding weekend in which they invite a smaller number of guests to the area for a “mini vacation.” Families enjoy guided hikes together, whitewater rafting trips, and, of course, skiing. An intimate weekend with your very bests ends up being much more memorable for everyone than a fleeting 250-person party (especially when it takes place in Jackson Hole).
Going on a minimoon instead of a honeymoon. I hate to state the obvious, but most couples are just plain busy. Whether it’s a job commitment, a sister with a baby due, or just the desire to have something to look forward to, many are ditching the notion of an elaborate honeymoon and going on a minimoon instead. A short getaway right after the wedding takes the pressure off the “double planning,” while also allowing you to come down from a blowout extravaganza. A weekend away, a road trip, or even an extended vacation in the Tetons all suffice as a minimoon. So, if you want to save money for that once-in-a-lifetime trip, plan it later when the pressure’s off. Or use that money to achieve your goal of buying a house together.
